isn't it funny how the smallest things can just turn u into a pessimist? from being optimistic, straight to everything being negative, and u start feeling like u want to die (okay, maybe that's an over-exxageration, but u get my drift). don't u hate it when u feel like every thing is just piling up and crushing u, like your carrying about 100 massive boxes filled with shit all at once, and u have nowhere to put them down?
it's strange when u go through a long period of time constantly reminding ureself of how happy u are and how awesome u feel, but when something gets u down so easily u just can't find it in u to get back up onto ure feet and say to ureself that u want to be happy, and u forget how good it feels to be happy.
it's strange when ure so confident and don't want to be that girl that u remember ureself being who was so shy, vulnerable, and just felt like shit all the time, that was constantly thinking that everyone is just there to make life hell and all they want to do is make u feel even more shitty about ureself, and u finally get over it and realise that people don't mean to make u feel like shit, its just ure stupid mind getting u down, and u start to go back to being paranoid and self concious and feeling like shit cos of something so small that happened. im so pathetic, it's so pathetic; i think that i have an overactive imagination, lmfao, or maybe i'm just a 16 yr old chick who loves to think and challenge herself, even tho i find it rather irritating, lolz.
things are complicated, but we all know that life wasn't meant to be easy, but i guess it just depends on ure outlook.

ahh rambling is good for u, get everything off ya chest, slowly i'm finding a place for each box of shit that i'm carrying, lolz.

cya,
-lauren, AKA trixxy hilikus